The anniversary, my decision making

With this being the anniversary of when my mom passed away, the last few days have been extremely introspective… today is more like my new year’s…

Every year, in the days leading up, I do a ridiculous amount of thinking. I think about the last year, and the year coming up. I think about why I’m almost always single, what home means to me and where it is, whether or not I’m living correctly, and much more. Going through the process is exhausting, and I always come out of it knowing myself even better than I did before. I also reaffirm my passion for music, as it has saved my life, taught me things I could never learn any other way, given me experiences I couldn’t possibly have otherwise, and it gives me a purpose…

I am still working at Papa John’s, and have been off and on since 1998. The job has always given me the freedom I need to pursue music. I could be making more money by using my degrees, but I am truly not driven by money. So long as I can pay my bills, and continue doing what I love to do, that’s what really matters to me. When I have kids, of course I’ll want to have enough to provide for them as well, but love, passion, and happiness will always drive me.

That’s why I’m confident now that I’m making the right decisions. I can’t predict the future, but I can make my decisions based on what I love to do, what makes me happy, and what is best for the important people in my life. I will spend the next 6 months extremely focused on making a living from my music, and doing so the right way, by making music I believe in. Whether that music is deeply expressive, makes a connection with my friends and fans, or is just fun, it will be the music I want to make because it will be an extension of who I am.

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